Turtleʼs Thoughts on Traffic Laws

1999-08-20 14:22:07 +0000

I almost hit a skunk once. It was just sauntering across the road, not thinking of any dire consequences. I had to slow down almost five miles per hour under the speed limit. Arenʼt there laws against that? Arenʼt there designated “Skunk Crossings”? They have them for deer, moose, ducks, and small children. Why not skunks?

I have just been informed that when you see a sign that reads “Speed Limit: 30 mph”, it really means “Speed Limit: 30 mph, except when going up a hill”. I havenʼt lived in this hilly country all my life, so I was unaware of this obscure traffic rule. Are there any others I need to know about? Tell me, please!

A friend of mine told me about the “hill rule” one morning on the school bus. Laugh if you will, I am a senior and I ride the school bus. I practically wear a sign that reads “No transportation and proud!”. Besides, this is my chance to “preside” over the bus. Iʼm in my high school prime! The privileges are just rolling in!

Anyway, as I understand it, when you get to the bottom of a respectably large hill, you should “punch it” regardless of any posted speed limit sign. I believe this behavior is already observable in todayʼs society. Just take a walk down to your local hill, and see for yourself. I recommend it!

Signed, Turtle. Once before and once again.

This article was written with one purpose in mind: to put a smile on a face of each of its many readers. If I have not done so, please inform me, and I will work my hardest to remedy the situation.

19 August 1999, William Andrew Jackson