Subtle Coolness · chrono index · alpha index

The Ballad of Billy the Banker-man

by William Jackson on 2004-04-27

Billy the Banker bought his gun
(While under the influence of the broiling sun)
To get back at that Cheater-man
Known only affectionately as “Dan”.

ʼTwas a Colt, and a mighty fine pistol, friend,That Billy chose; Danʼs life would end
Before sunset in two daysʼ time.(Itʼs your job to complete this rhyme.)

So the sun came up, and the sun went down,
And the stars shined bright, and the moon went ʼround.When the evening came on the second day
Bill called to Dan to come out and play.

Billy faced east and Dan faced west
And prepared for a classic quick-draw contest.
The sheriff was there to referee
(his money on Dan, I gaurantee).

A drummer-boy standing in a shady place
Began to beat as they took each pace.
One, and they took one step apart.
Two clearly heard a beating heart.

Three women turned, trying not to faint.
Four children stared without complaint.
Five birds sat silent in the trees.
Six feathers rustled in the evening breeze.

Seven crickets chirped unknowingly.
Eight leaves fell from the old shade tree.
Nine men felt time had slowed to a crawl.
Ten, this would end once and for all.

Dan spun ʼround and Billy did, too,And then came the part everyone thought they knew:
But Billy was blinded by the setting sun,
And Dan by the glare off of Billyʼs gun.

No shots were fired, but both men fell.
Down went the sun and up came a yell.
Billy and Dan were helped to their feet.
They dusted themselves and walked off the street.

So ends the Ballad of the Banker-man
And his new business partner, Cheater-Dan.
Billy and Dan are now good friends,
And this is how the story ends.