Subtle Coolness · chrono index · alpha index


by William Jackson on 2004-05-11

Imagine the most horrible ending. Maybe death. Or hell, if youʼre Christian or something. Or maybe living forever with someone you really donʼt like. Or living forever with someone you donʼt know and donʼt want to get to know. Sitting on a stool in a white-walled room staring at this person who wonʼt answer your questions. Eternally. Thatʼs frustrating. But I digress.

So now that you have this horrible terrible end in mind, the trick is this: convince yourself that you will meet such an end if you donʼt get at least a B on your exam this week. Really convince yourself. Sweat a bit, because thatʼs what will happen. 79.4 is your score? Sit on the stool. In fact, to make this more frustrating weʼre going to make the guy on the other stool have no face. A Faceless Man dressed completely in white, sitting so still you can barely distinguish him from the wall twenty-something feet away. No shadows. You can squint, and yell maybe, and try to get him to move, but youʼre not allowed to take your eyes off of him. This is the ultimate time-out weʼre talking about.

Yet for some reason you donʼt want to take your eyes off of him. Because you just know that the moment you look away, heʼll move or sneeze or blink — he has no eyes, but you swear heʼll blink if you look away.

So go study and get a B or youʼll end like this.