The Investigation Will Commence Shortly

by William Jackson on 2004-07-29

Last night, I followed my normal routine to prepare for bed. I brushed my teeth, read scriptures (I finished The Book of Mormon), prayed, set my alarm for the morning and set the away message on my computer. At 10:45 PM, I left Reynold on the couch watching television and I went to sleep.

At approximately 12:20 AM, my phone beeped. I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. I had just received a message from Chloë: “you up?”

Chloë, and anyone else who might be jumping to conclusions at the moment, if you are reading this, you have to understand one thing: this made my day. Iʼm sure there are people in the world who would rather not be awakened at random times in the night, but I am not one of those people. If I were one of those people, I would turn my phone off at night.

Actually, there are only two kinds of people in the world: those with long attention spans, and I sure could go for some ice cream right about now.

Anyway, I glanced over at Reynoldʼs bed and discovered that it was neatly made and devoid of body. “He must still be watching television or on his computer,” I thought. All the better, in my opinion; I wouldnʼt have to leave the room for fear of disturbing him.

I quickly textʼd back, “Yeah.” Sure, I had been asleep, but I was up then, and Iʼm doing my best not to lie these days. In a few moments, my phone beeped again, and sang a familiar song. It wasnʼt a text message this time, but a full-blown telephone call. How special I must feel!

Chloë invited me to play Guesstures with some friends, and I probably would have agreed, but I had to be at work early this morning and needed my sleep. Maybe next time. Awfully nice of her, though.

I hung up, layed in my bed for a few minutes, and decided, since I was awake, to check my email. My obsessive nature was pushing through. I went to the living room, and was particularly shocked to find no one there. Reynold was gone.

Reynold was gone! “What is anybody doing leaving home after 10:30 at night?” I thought, but then realized that I was just invited to leave my home, and it was slightly later than 10:30. That thought removed my fears, and I checked my email and went back to bed.

At 1:00 AM I heard a key in the door. When I woke up this morning, Reynold was there. _insert onomatopoeia indicating sigh of relief here_

The real reason I wrote this was so I could use the word “Reynold” in a sentence or two.