Spring Lineup

by William Jackson on 2005-01-18

Here we go. Today was my first day of school. My sisters far surpass me at social commentary, so if you want to read exciting course descriptions you should find their websites. But if you want to read boring course descriptions, you have come to the right place.

My academic voyage of discovery began at 09:30 this morning with Computer Science 341: Automata. “Automata” just means making a computer do something on its own so a human doesnʼt have to do it repeatedly, especially such that the aforementioned computer does the aforementioned something in a provably perfect way. By “perfect”, I mean the computer gets a correct answer every time.

If I had to choose one word to describe my professor, that word would be “female”. She quilts. Sheʼs goofy, in a funny and awesome sort of way. Enjoying this class is on my to do list, and I will complete that task easily. Also, she has a slight lisp that reminds me of The Impressive Clergyman from The Princess Bride.

Automata. Automata is what bwings us togevah today.

My next class was Government 310L: American Government. This class is huge. The bell rang, or buzzed rather, and the man standing onstage (thatʼs right, on a stage) began to speak.

I am Professor _doesnʼt really matter_. You are expecting Professor Enelow. Professor Enelow is not here, because he is being a good citizen. He was called to jury duty. He considered skipping jury duty because this is the first day of class, but he thought that would be too ironic: skipping jury duty to teach you all to be good citizens. Where is the TA [teaching assistant]? The TA will distribute the syllabus. Is there a TA in the room? Is the TA waving his hands and I canʼt see him? There is no TA here. Iʼll wait three seconds … [He paused for three seconds.] Pick up your syllabus on Thursday, have a good day.

And the students left the auditorium like cattle.

After lunch, I went to Computer Science 352: Computer Systems Architecture. I donʼt have the prerequisites for this class, but the system let me register for it anyway, so we will see what happens. Professor Lee, or Alan, as he preferred to be called, walked with a limp.

Iʼm walking this way because a 400-pound man kicked me in the back on Friday. You can call me Lee Sensei if you have a black belt in karate.

I donʼt care what anyone else has told you. This class is a hard class. Itʼs time for a quiz. This class is (a) easy, or (b) hard? Very good.

My favorite class of the semester, of course, is French 310L: Second Year French II (Reading Skill). I donʼt have to speak French anymore! The class is rather small, about which I am happy. One of the girls in my ward is in that class, too. That was a pleasant surprise. I donʼt know what to say about the course. Iʼll be reading, translating, explaining, and discussing French stories. It doesnʼt get much more French Reading Skillesque than that.

Oui oui.