Subtle Coolness · chrono index · alpha index

Go Out with a Bang

by William Jackson on 2005-05-26

Today was indeed my last day of work at the lab. I came in to do a mentoringdemonstration for one of my supervisors. When I was done with that I made myway to the Human Resources department, stepped in the door, and loudly said,“I need to be terminated.”

That got a chuckle from the woman at the desk. She even shot me with herfinger.

Another proctor was filling out her “separation paperwork” at the same time.“Separation paperwork” makes it sound like Iʼm divorcing the computer lab. Iwould never dream of such a thing.

Today the Information Technology Services department was also having abarbecue on campus. My recently terminated friend and I went to get a freelunch — in your face, tinstaafl. When we got there the party was in fullswing, and all the brisket was gone. We were told some more meat was on theway, so we waited.

We waited a long time. Finally, I broke down and got a plateful of potatosalad, chips and cookies. At the very moment when I was ready to sink intodespair and abandon myself to destruction — not to an imaginary ruin, butto the power of my actual stomach — just at this moment of great alarm, themeat arrived.

Oh, it was good.

As we were leaving the barbecue, my recently terminated friend yelled, “Hey,whereʼs your purse!” Indeed, I had left my European carry-all under thetable at which I was seated. She saved the day!