Subtle Coolness · chrono index · alpha index

School Is Totally Awesome

by William Jackson on 2005-09-28

I want to write a poem, right now, but it never really works that way.

What has become of me? If I recall correctly, in the last two weeks,almost every time I have held a conversation longer than two minuteswith someone I have said, “I hate school.” What a bunch of bullhonkey.

School is totally awesome, for the following reasons, which have beenconveniently numbered so you donʼt have to count them yourself.

  1. I only “go to school” two days of the week.
  2. Every morning that I go to school, I get to ride on a bus full ofstudents and other people. With few exceptions, I will be standingon said bus, and said students and other people quite possiblenumber in the low hundreds.
  3. I get to walk around in the 107 degree heat. How many states in theUnited States can boast that sort of temperaturage? Few, if any.Thatʼs why the Austin TX has way better Blue Book value than thestandard Austin. And whatʼs with the “Population: ?”?
  4. I sit on the second row in all my classes because I am “ambitious,but not overbearing.” And looking at the PowerPoint presentationsfrom the first row makes my neck hurt.
  5. “Mice come in two varieties. One kind has a little ball inside, andthe other kind has a little light inside.” -Alan Lee, professor,Computer Systems Architecture

So, as I have clearly demonstrated using my incredible powers ofenumeration, school is, indeed, totally awesome. I have given sixperfectly sound reasons for coming to such a conclusion. So if any ofyou ever hear me say, “I hate school,” again, please correct me.