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House of Flying Saprolings

by William Jackson on 2005-10-09

Yesterday I had two new experiences: I watched a Chinese movie and ended up absolutely disliking it; and I played a full game of Magic: The Gathering.

I started watching House of Flying Daggers this morning at 07:00. The costumes were beautiful and the scenery was spectacular. The cinematography was stunning and the fighting was intense. There were even guys flying through a bamboo forest.

I even thought the plot was alright, until it twisted. And twist it did.

Without going into too much detail, one guy tells a girl he loves her, and when he learns that she doesnʼt love him back, he proceeds to try to take advantage of her. Later on down the line he ends up murdering her and blaming it on the guy sheʼs really in love with.

Oh yeah, thatʼs classy, and heʼs supposed to be the guy with morals, fighting against a corrupt government. Get your own corrupted ducks in a row, Leo, before you start claiming to stand for ideals.

Wow. I donʼt think Iʼve ever been so outspoken about some dumb movie before. Enough of that. On to bigger, better, more exciting and way more social things.

Yesterday I played my first game of Magic: The Gathering! I discovered that it might be something I could get into, as long as I always play against This One Tall Guy — from now on, his name will be abbreviated to Vatican.dll.

First of all, I had never played before. During the game we both had little rule-books to refer to. I probably checked mine every time either one of us tried to do anything until about halfway through the game.

Next of all, Vatican.dll had a big olʼ box full of cards and we had to select our own deck out of the mix. I had never played the game and I had to pick what I wanted to fight with. Can you say, “unfair advantage”? Thatʼs not true, though. Vatican.dll found some wicked-awesome cards for me and was a great help as I was selecting my deck.

After that of all, not only were we wizard-dueling each other (thatʼs what Magic is all about: wizards dueling), but we had to constantly fend off a six-years-old boy who was trying to give us playing tips and look at our cards. Iʼm pretty sure he even tried to stack my deck in my favor at one point, though he denies it.

All of all, the game was good. I thought I was going to lose for a while because I kept making dumb mistakes. It was my first time after all, and Vatican.dll had a couple of annoying Saproling factories that kept churning out little minions. Fortunately, I had some ├╝ber-powerful cards out and about, and I held on to the last and won.

Was there ever a Magic: The Gathering Saturday morning cartoon show? I might actually enjoy watching it now. Once.