Subtle Coolness · chrono index · alpha index

Dear Santa

by William Jackson on 2005-12-21

Mr. Santa Claus
North Pole

Dear Mr. Claus,

I hope you receive this letter. Youʼre not the type of guy thatʼs easyto get in touch with. Iʼm still not sure if you fall in the jurisdictionof Canada, but Iʼm sure the postal service there will oblige me bydelivering this letter.

It has come to my attention that, due to the increasing world population, youhavenʼt been able to keep track of the naughty/nice status of severalpeople in my area. Just in case I am one of them, I wanted to make sureyou got all the details.

I should begin my pointing out how good I have been recently in eatingmy vegetables. Iʼve got a bag of broccoli in the freezer that I havebeen working on, and I always get lettuce on my hamburgers at Wendyʼs.Mom would be proud of me. I hope you are, too.

This year was incredible when it comes to not beating up on my siblings.Thatʼs got to count for something. I even said some nice things to themon their birthdays, if I remembered them.

I always paid my phone bill on time, and I was never behind on my rent.Thatʼs pretty good for a poor college student, donʼt you think? I evenattended most of my lectures, especially the 8:00am ones. Iʼm not goingto lie to you: that was tough. I think I deserve some bonus points forthat.

If my current nice levels donʼt quite cover the lists I sent you inFebruary, May and November, would you consider an advance on all thegood things Iʼm going to do next year?

Hoping you bring a little snow with you this time,