¶ 2007-02-13 23:17:00 +0000
On Tuesday morning, the sports section of The Daily Texan invaded the front page, claiming territory once the dominion of local non-sports news.
This coup came unexpectedly, though it appears to have been bloodless, thankfully stemming the tide of “whatʼs black and white and red all over” jokes.
The front page has long been the exclusive territory of UT Austin-related stories, occasionally commandeered by national or international news of general interest.
“Sports is not of general interest,” commented Computer Science senior William Jackson. “Now if this freshman Damion Jones of which the article speaks had two heads, that would be of general interest.”
It is not known how long this occupation will last. The presence of too many statistics and foreign words like “winningest” may produce unrest among the populace, forcing sports back to section B from whence it came.